Wait It Out
by FictionMac
Summary: -Updated!- Kind of a song fic, based around "Not Myself" by John Mayer. Gordo's got new friends and he doesn't hang around Lizzie and Miranda anymore. Lizzie waits for him, and waits for him, but can she wait around forever? First LM fic, R/R please!
1. Wait It Out Ch 1

Wait it Out  
By FictionMac  
  
  
Suppose I said I am on my best behavior  
And there are times I lose my worried mind?  
  
Would you want me when I'm not myself?  
Wait it out while I am someone else?  
  
Suppose I said colors change for no good reason  
And words will go from poetry to pros  
  
Would you want me when I'm not myself?  
Wait it out while I am someone else?  
  
And I, in time, will come around  
I always do, for you  
Suppose I said you're my saving grace?   
  
"Not Myself" - John Mayer  
  
  
She was watching him again. Watching as he smiled his fake smile, and laughed his fake laugh, and pretended to be interested in whatever one of his new mindless friends were telling him. She knew it was all fake, all an act. She's always known, since the very beginning. Somehow he knew that she'd always see through, no matter who he was with, what he was doing, she'd always know he was just a fake. She was there the day he went away, no one knows where he went, but he left a long, long time ago. And she always watched him, always tried to find him with her eyes. She never found him, and he promised himself she never would. He wouldn't let her. He was too scared, too cautious, too unsure. So she would continue watching, searching, and he would continue hiding. It's an unending, vicious cycle. He told himself she'd give up soon, who would wait forever for him?  
  
  
"Hey Lizzie." Miranda sat her lunch tray down on the table and plopped down next to her best friend. When she didn't get a reply to her greeting she turned to the blonde quizzically.  
  
"Liz...? You ok?" Lizzie stayed silent. Her eyes transfixed on the table across the schoolyard. The table where their, at one time, "third musketeer" was seated. Where he always seemed to be seated, now a days, Miranda thought bitterly.   
  
"What's up with him anyway?" She asked, not bothering to hide the edge in her voice. This seemed to awake Lizzie from her stupor, and she allowed her eyes to wander over to Miranda.   
  
"What are you talking about?" She questioned, seemingly having no idea who Miranda was referring to. Miranda knew better.  
  
"Gordo. You remember him, right? Real serious type, dark hair, kinda unruly? What's going on with him, he's kinda been...different." This time Miranda tried to keep the bitterness from her voice. See, her and Lizzie were pretty different. They handled situations differently. For instance, when someone who's supposedly your best friend suddenly ditches you for a bunch of movie geeks and never gives a look back, Miranda gets mad. No, Miranda gets pissed. To Miranda, friendship always meant loyalty. When Miranda befriended anyone it was always, always a true blue, friends 'til the end deal. And if you ever broke that loyalty, there was hell to pay. With Lizzie it was a little different. Sure to her friendship meant loyalty, just like Miranda, the true blue deal all over again.   
  
But Lizzie dealt differently with broken trust. It was almost as if she didn't understand it, she just did not get how someone can say they're your best friend one day, and not seem to care the next day. So, she never really got mad. Just...sad, confused, a little lost. Left trying to figure out what happened, and if she did something she shouldn't have. And she always waited around for something to happen, or for the ex-friend to suddenly come around again. Miranda never waited. She got pissed, she got mean, she got over it. She really wished Lizzie would do the same.   
  
"Oh, yeah. Uh, I dunno. I haven't really noticed I guess." Ugh! What a liar. Like I don't know you well enough to see that you're just as lost as you were when Kate dumped you like yesterday's trash? Come on Lizzie, you can't really think I'm THAT dumb. Miranda huffed out a sigh and stabbed at her mystery meat.   
  
"That's complete bull and you know it, Liz." Stab. Stab. Stab. It seemed her lunch was getting quite a beating on behalf of Lizzie McGuire.   
  
"Shut up Miranda. Subject change, please." Miranda could almost hear the eye roll she knew her friend was giving her. Fine, if she didn't want to talk about it, Miranda wouldn't push it. She just wished either Lizzie would let him go already, or Gordo would come to his senses and see what's right fricken in front of him. 


	2. Wait It Out Ch 2

He's doing it again. The fake laugh, the fake smile, the overall fakeness. She hates it when he does that. She knows he can feel her watching him. She wants him to feel her watching him. She needs him to know she's still looking for him, still trying to find him, still waiting for him. Just like he asked her too. Sure, he probably didn't mean it that way, it was most likely in reference to later plans, but she kept waiting and tried to put those thoughts behind her. She could still remember it, the day he asked her to wait, she could still see the something in his eyes that made her want to wait forever.   
  
---  
  
"Hey Lizzie!" Gordo smiled brightly as he approached his long time best friend in front of her locker. He figured it was probably too early for anyone to smile as brightly as he was, but oh well. She kinda just brought it out of him no matter what time of day it was. That's probably why she'd been such a close friend for so long.  
  
"Hey Gordo where ya been? Did you get the math homework done?" Lizzie returned the bright smile and Gordo thought maybe he was wrong about the early morning business. Then he thought maybe he brought it out of her, the way she brought it out of him. He quickly brushed the thoughts aside.   
  
"Yeah, why? Did you have trouble with it?" He leaned his back up against the locker beside her open one, as she furrowed through hers in search of her math book.  
  
"Mhm, I couldn't figure out number 16 for the life of me. I was gonna call you but...damn it, where's my math book?" Gordo chuckled softly as Lizzie continued searching, mumbling to herself and at times to him. He reached behind her and into her backpack and pulled out the answer to her problems at the moment.  
  
"You think you maybe left it at home?" He asked, the smile present in his voice. She shook her head sighed impatiently, accompanied by a quick stomp of her foot.   
  
"I know I had it, I was looking it over on the way here. This cannot be pos-" Gordo couldn't hold the gales of laughter inside as he watched Lizzie's expression go from shock, to confusion, to anger when she realized he was holding her book out in front of her. It had to be one of the prettiest things he'd ever seen from her. Wait. What?  
  
"Gordo you brat! Give me that. Now I'm not gonna ask your help, I'm gonna go ask..." Miranda chose then to walk up to the two.  
  
"Yo yo home dogs." She greeted cheerfully. Gordo nodded his 'hello' and Lizzie smiled.  
  
"MIRANDA!" Lizzie cried triumphantly, finishing her sentence where she had last been interrupted. Miranda all but jumped ten feet into the air, which only caused Gordo to laugh more.  
  
"Jeez. Someone's happy to see me." Miranda quipped sarcastically.   
  
"Ha, no. I was just telling Gordo here that since he thinks it's so cute when I stress, that I'm going to have to ask someone else for help on math. And here you are. So did you ge-" It didn't seem to be Lizzie's day for finishing sentences. Before she got the chance to ask Miranda for help, the bell rang, and the school halls filled with the noisy hustle and bustle of kids trying to get to class.   
  
"Guess I can't help ya Liz, gotta get to History. See ya 3rd period." And with that Miranda was off down the hall to her classroom. Gordo smiled at Lizzie, the smile that said 'guess your stuck with me for help after all' without words. And Lizzie got the message. She giggled softly, eliciting a strange flutter in Gordo's gut, and rolled her friendly brown eyes.  
  
"Come on Gordo, let's get to cl-" Once again Lizzie was interrupted.  
  
"Hey David! You're not gonna believe what my dad got me this weekend man..." Someone, whose name Lizzie didn't know, came up to Gordo, talking a mile a minute. Lizzie could hardly understand what was being said. Of course this wasn't new to her, for the past two weeks Lizzie had had to endure this from one camera nerd, or another. Not that it mattered that they were camera nerds, she was sure they were nice enough, she just didn't like the effect they were taking on Gordo. He wasn't around as much, and when he was he had another camera nerd hanging around. He was kind of becoming distant; she was actually starting to miss him even though she saw him everyday. It wasn't at all like it used to be, and that scared her.  
  
"Hey Gordo, we gotta get to class." She spoke up, a bit loudly, interrupting the conversation he was having about this guy's new camera. Gordo barely even glanced at her.  
  
"I'm gonna go check out Kevin's new camera real quick." He paused and this time he did look at Lizzie. Right in the eyes, and she saw something flash in there. Something she didn't recognize. Now, maybe it was just her imagination, maybe it wasn't, all she knew was that what he said next meant something more than it should have. Something a whole lot more. It was like a secret message had been sent through that split second flash in his eyes.  
  
"Just wait for me, ok?" And with that he was gone. Jogging down the hall with Kevin in search of a camera. And Lizzie was left baffled in the now empty halls, struck silent by whatever had just happened.  
  
---  
  
Maybe she was making it up. Maybe she had imagined it. But something inside her told her to wait, just like he had asked. There were other instances, times when he would be talking with Lizzie and get distracted, or have to go somewhere, and he'd turn to her and look her straight in the eye and ask the same thing. -Wait for me, ok?- And every single time Lizzie took it as another secret message. He was telling her that he was still coming back, some day, he just needed her to wait for him. And she did. She always did.   
  
Sure there were times when she'd sit and she'd wonder if he was really in there, somewhere, just waiting for the right time to come back. Sometimes she'd wonder if he was gone forever, and she was waiting for nothing. Sometimes she'd wonder if he knew he was never coming back and was only asking her to wait because he didn't want to hurt her feelings, or upset her. Sometimes she'd wonder if he knew she was waiting, or if he'd forgotten, or thinks she's pretending to wait, or thinks she's already stopped waiting. Sometimes she'd wonder if he really wanted her to wait for him, or if she was just waiting because she knew that if she didn't then he was really gone. But then she'd stop wondering, and she'd push all the wondering out of her mind and keep waiting. She had to wait. She just had to. 


	3. Wait It Out Ch 3

A/N: It seems I've forgotten all about disclaimers and such on my last two chapters. Well we can't have that now, can we? Oh, and another things, since italics and such don't work here the '-' indicates thoughts, flashbacks, stressed words, etc. Thank you much.  
  
Disclaimer: Disney owns all things Lizzie related. John Mayer owns the pretty, pretty song. I own the plot. Stay away from the plot!   
  
--  
  
"You ok?" Matt asked his sister, a bit concerned at her out-of-character behavior. He had just waltzed right into her room, sat on her bed, and started singing The Song That Never Ends and she did nothing. He sang for 5 minutes straight, and she did nothing. He began to annoy himself before she even -sighed- in annoyance. Something wasn't right here...  
  
"Mhmm." Came the mumbled reply. Did she know it was him? Her annoying little ferret faced brother? In her room? On her bed?   
  
"Lizzie." Maybe she just needed to hear his voice say her name, then she'd realize who he was and she'd scream at him to get out of his room and he wouldn't be so frightened by her calmness.  
  
"What?" She looked up and stared right at Matt. Well at least now he knew she knew who he was. So why wasn't she making him get out of her room and leave her alone?  
  
"I asked if you were ok." He brought his feet up on the bed and folded them Indian style, hoping her seeing his feet on her bed would strike some kind of emotion.  
  
"I said yeah..." She went back to doing her homework. Ok, now Matt was really starting to get weirded out. This was so unlike the mean and bossy sister he's known since the day of his birth.  
  
"No, you said 'mhmm' that's not 'yeah' that's 'I'm gonna mumble incoherently so you think I'm ok when I'm really not ok'. So are you ok?" She looked up at him, surprised at how perceptive he was, then quickly bent her head to her homework again.   
  
"I'm fine Matt, why don't you go bug Mom and Dad? I'm trying to do my homework." Matt smiled at the slight annoyance in her voice. At least she was getting annoyed with him again; maybe she was just weird because of PMS or something.  
  
"I don't want to bug Mom and Dad, I want to bug you. Because I never get the chance to bug you anymore. I never get the chance to bug your friends either. Did you guys part ways and not tell anyone?" Another surprised look up at him, only this time she didn't go back to her homework. She stared at him silently for a few moments, contemplating on weather or not he could help her.   
  
"No one parted ways. I've been busy." Matt sighed inwardly. He knew he hadn't always been #1 brother or anything, but he felt she should be able to at least trust that he could help her out. Lizzie had never been very good at hiding her emotions, so when she was upset everyone could tell, including Matt. So it wasn't like he was the brother from hell, who laughed in his sister's face when she was hurting, he wanted to help, or at least -try- to help.  
  
"Busy not being friends anymore?" Ok, so maybe he didn't know the right things to say when trying to help. But his heart was in the right place. But Lizzie just rolled her eyes and went back to her books, deciding not to continue with this conversation.  
  
"Busy with homework, Matt, like I'm trying to do now. Go away." Matt unfolded his legs and got up off the bed. He just stood there for a minute, by the bed, watching Lizzie pretend to do math homework. He couldn't just leave it at that; he had to try harder.  
  
"What about Gordo and Miranda? What's their story?" Lizzie dropped her pencil and sighed in annoyance, but didn't look up.  
  
"Miranda's grounded. She got a bad grade or something, will you stop prying into my personal business now?" Matt grinned, enjoying the annoyance in her voice. He had strangely begun to miss it. But he wasn't done helping yet.  
  
"And Gordo? What about him?" He asked, a little quieter, knowing it was something serious when he saw her head bend down just a little more. Her shoulders slumped, and she just seemed to darken with sadness the second he mentioned Gordo's name. Bingo, he'd discovered the problem.  
  
"How the hell should I know?" She questioned, with forced anger. Matt looked down and shuffled his feet a little, wording his next phrase carefully.  
  
"Because you always know. You two always know everything about the other. So what's going on with Gordo?" Matt decided this might take awhile, so he took his position on the bed again and made himself comfortable, waiting for her response so he could play Doctor Matt and get his normal sister back. But he was met with silence.   
  
"Lizzie?" -Come on Sis, don't go closing up on me now, just let me help you out.- Matt stared at Lizzie's slumped form intently, willing her to open up to him. Finally, a soft sigh emerged from her lips and a small dam was broken.  
  
"I don't know Matt. I don't...I don't really know Gordo anymore." She responded softly, her voice laced with tears that began to form in her eyes and spill over onto her cheeks. Matt thought that maybe he should hug her. Or pat her back. Or something other than just sit there and watch her cry. But he felt lost and a little weird seeing his sister cry, so he just folded his hands in his lap and tried to think of things to say.  
  
"Have you talked to him? Try and find out what's going on?" He finally asked, looking over at her with sympathetic eyes. She still wouldn't lift her head, but he could hear her sniffles and saw the tears split, splat onto her math book.   
  
"I used to. Haven't for a while. I kept getting the same thing." She sounded miserable, and Matt moved a little closer, ready to hug her if she asked for it, or started crying more. It felt wrong, watching her cry like this, it just felt wrong seeing his big sister cry. He always thought she was strong, and she was, he knew that, but right now she didn't look so strong. She looked broken. That scared him.  
  
"What's that?" He asked quietly. He was running out of ways to help, and things to say. He'd never really fought much with Lanny or Melina, so dealing with broken friendships really wasn't his area of expertise. But he had to do -something-.  
  
"'Just wait, ok, Lizzie?'" She quoted in a broken whisper. Matt knitted his eyebrows together in a confused frown. -Wait? What was that supposed to mean? Wait for what?- Matt was beginning to feel the inkling of anger build in the pit of his stomach. Gordo wasn't supposed to be the type that ditched best friends, he was supposed to be a good guy. Why would he hurt Lizzie?  
  
"Wait? For what?" Matt asked, decided to leave the anger part out of his voice, and just allowed his confusion to be heard. He was sure Lizzie would only get mad at him for being mad at Gordo. He was positive she was blaming herself someway or another. Lizzie always blamed herself.  
  
"For him to come back. For him to find out who he is. For him to remember what life is. Just...for him." She sounded confused. Like she -didn't- know what she was waiting for and was just making things up to make sense of the situation.  
  
"So that's what you're doing? Waiting?" This time he let his anger come trough, just a little. He loved his sister to bits, but she can be such a push over sometimes. Gordo had obviously ditched her, and was stringing her along, or -something- and here she was waiting for him to come around. She always let people walk all over her. Just like Kate had. Just like Gordo is doing.  
  
"What else can I do? I can't lose hope, I can't give up on him, I can't let myself think he's gone forever. I can't do that Matt. Because he's still there, somewhere, and he needs to know I'm still here, and I still care." She looked up this time, right into his eyes, her eyes begging for him to understand. Begging for him to tell her that she was doing the right thing, that she wasn't wasting her time.   
  
"What if...I mean, What if he isn't still there? What if he's forgotten about you, and Miranda, and all the other important things? What if he's just saying that to satisfy you?" He could tell it hurt her more than anything to hear those things. He could see it in her eyes, the way they flashed with pain and then closed as if she were trying to block it out, or stop more tears from spilling over, or both. But he had to say it; he had to get the truth through to her. He had to at least try to save her from going through the same pain she went through with Kate. He couldn't let her sit there and be made a fool of, not again.  
  
"..." Matt sighed and got up from the bed. This time he went to her, and pulled her into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around him and clung on as she cried silently. He knew he had gotten through to her, he knew she had heard him. He just didn't know if it had made a difference.  
  
"Lizzie, are you gonna wait around forever for something you aren't even sure of?" Lizzie tensed, just a bit, and sighed heavily. She gave Matt one final squeeze and pulled away, picking up her pencil and staring at her math book for a moment to gain her composure before turning to him and answering.  
  
"Yes. If I have to." Then she turned her head and went back to her homework, brushing the conversation off and out of her mind. Matt sighed and walked toward her door, he turned to her and watched her sadly, trying to think of something more to do, someway to make her stop hurting. But in the end he could think of nothing, and he turned and walked out of the room, defeated.  
  
A/N: -cry- Aww doncha juss love the bro/sis love? More tomorrow, please R/R to let me know if you actually -want- the more I'm giving : ) 


	4. Wait It Out Ch 4

A/N: Ok, the lack of reviews is kinda bumming me out here, kiddies. Come on, it doesn't suck THAT much does it? I'm puttin' in a lot of effort here.   
  
Dramaqueen214: Thank you, thank you, thank you for your sweet review. John Mayer rocks, and I love 'Not Myself' the best out of all the songs on his album. That and 'St. Patrick's Day' I'm thinking of doing a story based around that song, whaddya think?  
  
Disclaimer: Disney owns all things Lizzie. John Mayer owns the pretty, pretty song. The plot is mine. Remember, until I learn how to use italics the '-' means thoughts, scene changes, stressed words, etc.  
  
----  
  
Matt is evil. Matt is evil, and stupid, and a loser, and I don't like him. Oh, he thinks he's so smart, 'I'm so mature, I'm so insightful, I'm so perceptive.' You don't know shit, Matt. He IS coming back. He HAS to. I won't let you get to me; I won't let you scare me. I won't give up hope just because you and everyone else have. It's just...you don't understand, Matt, you really don't. I have to wait for him, I have to hang on to this hope because...because when it's gone then...then I'm gone too. It's all I have left of him, the hope that he'll be him again. And if I don't have that, if I don't have the dream of Gordo, then I don't have anything. Don't you get it Matt? I'm not me without him. I can't be me without him. I don't know how. And I have to keep believing that I still have him, somewhere, and he'll come back, he will. He has to. Because I'm waiting for him. I'll always be waiting for him.  
  
---  
  
"Gordo." Miranda sighed a little as Gordo waved his hand at her, signaling her to hold on.  
  
"Gordo, it's really..." Another wave. Miranda was getting tired of his stupid hand and was ready to bite it off he didn't put down his damn camera and just talk to her. She hated that his camera and his new camera friends were more important than she was now. She hated it more that his new camera and his new camera friends were more important than Lizzie was now, cause Lizzie was the one that was hurting.   
  
"Gordo, will you just put that..." This time Gordo did put the camera down, very gently, before whipping his head around to face her. Annoyance and anger burned in his eyes and Miranda wondered how he was able to set his camera down so gingerly with that much anger swirling around inside.  
  
"What?! For Christ's sake Miranda, what do you want?" His tone was biting, and edgy, and Miranda had to clench and unclench her fists, taking a deep breath, before she spoke. She wanted to -talk- with Gordo, not -fight-.  
  
"I want to talk to you, you think you can pull yourself away from your precious video camera, long enough to have a chat with an old friend?" Miranda didn't bother being friendly about the situation, not if Gordo had already decided that friendly wasn't necessary. She smiled sickeningly sweet and rolled her eyes when Gordo sighed heavily, as if she'd asked him to give his life for her.  
  
"I'm busy, talk to me later." He was just about to turn back to his camera when Miranda jumped up and grabbed it before he could.  
  
"You'll be busy talking camera talk with your friends later, I want to talk to you now." She held the camera behind her back, where he couldn't get it, and stared at him, unfazed, as he glared at her.  
  
"Miranda, seriously, I'm busy, now can you just give me..." Miranda scoffed, not wanting to hear him ask for what had taken her and Lizzie's place in his life.  
  
"You're always busy now Gordo. You're playing with your camera, or your camera nerd friends, or whatthehell else you have going on. It's like you're not even you anymore, what's with that? I understand you really enjoy filming, but what happened to me? What happened to Lizzie? You know, you're -true- friends? Maybe you should evaluate your friendships, cause they seem to me to be a little mixed up." Miranda sat down next to Gordo, on the table part of the lunch table. She rested her elbows on her knees and examined the camera, trying to figure out just -what- was so interesting about it.  
  
"My friendships are fine, Miranda." Gordo answered, with an exasperated sigh. Somehow, deep down, he knew this was coming. When he saw Miranda across the school lunch yard, walking towards him, determination etched on her face, he knew he was in for a confrontation. And he knew what the confrontation was most likely about, although he didn't think it was necessary since it didn't seem like Lizzie was bothered too much about him not hanging out with them as much as he used to. He closed his eyes and willed Miranda to just go away and leave him alone.  
  
"You're friendships used to be fine, but now your friendships are completely skewered. You spend all your time with a bunch of geeks who only hang out with you because you have a camera. You're not even friends with me and Lizzie anymore." Miranda didn't even bother hiding the bitterness in her voice, although she made sure to keep any kind of sadness out. She wouldn't give Gordo the pleasure of knowing it still saddened her to know that she pretty much lost one of the best friends she'd ever known. He didn't deserve it, not after ditching her and Lizzie like bad habits for a freaking -camera-.  
  
"What? Miranda what are you talking about? I hang out with you guys every week; we go to the Digital Bean every Saturday, look at us now, hanging out. What the hell is that supposed to mean 'I'm not friends with you anymore'?" Ok, so most of the shock in his voice was faked, Gordo kinda knew she'd feel that way. He supposed she was right, he hadn't really been around much, not as much as he used to be. And yeah, he had a lot of other things he did now, but that didn't mean he didn't still consider Lizzie and Miranda his -friends-, they'd always be his best friends. Right?  
  
"I mean just what I said. You aren't friends with us anymore. Sure you hang out with us sometimes, but you're mind is always off somewhere. You always go on about cameras, and when we're talking your eyes just glaze over and you don't even listen. Yeah you talk to us, and you meet us places, and we hang out sometimes, but you aren't -with- us. You haven't been for awhile." Miranda tried really, really hard to keep from showing she was sad, but it wasn't easy seeing as how the lump in her throat was making her voice crack a little. She tried to swallow, and took a few deep breaths; she really didn't want Gordo to know he wasn't just hurting Lizzie. She's supposed to be stronger than that, she didn't need Gordo, she really didn't.   
  
"I don't know what you're talking about, and I'm busy, so go away." Gordo had to force the annoyance into his voice. In reality he felt tired, he wanted to go somewhere and lie down, and sleep, and just not think about anything Miranda was saying. He knew she was right, and he didn't miss the way her eyes glassed over with the beginnings of tears. He thought maybe that's what was making him feel so awful, because Miranda never cried, never. She'd always been a rock; never letting anyone hurt her to the point of tears. She'd always been an expert about brushing herself off and moving on. And here she was, fighting back tears, because of -him-. Gordo wanted to go home and forget this day.  
  
"Fine, whatever, I give up. I don't see how Lizzie can keep waiting around when you're obviously gone." She huffed an angry sigh, and put his camera down before jumping off the table. This was a waste of time, she should have known she wouldn't be able to get through to him. He'd always been stubborn as a mule. But he didn't even flinch when she almost started crying. That wasn't like the Gordo she used to know at all. -I guess he really is gone. I should have known.- Miranda sighed sadly and turned to leave, but was stopped by Gordo's confused voice.  
  
"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Lizzie? Waiting around? Gordo knew she had to be wrong, she was mistaken, she had to be. Lizzie wasn't waiting for him, she never watched him anymore, she didn't care, she stopped caring a long time ago. -Didn't she?-   
  
"Nothing. You've got work to do." Gordo wanted to reach out and grab Miranda and make her tell him what she meant. He had to know. Was Lizzie waiting for him? Did Lizzie get it? Did she understand all the times he'd asked her to wait? Why didn't she watch him anymore? Did she still care? She couldn't, he never saw her watch him anymore, he thought she stopped watching a long time ago.   
  
"Miranda..." He called, he couldn't just let her walk away without explaining what she meant. But it was too late, Miranda was already halfway across the yard, and even if she heard him, why would she answer him? He'd been a jerk. Gordo slumped into his seat and turned his head to look at his camera. He didn't even care anymore; suddenly his camera was just an object, just another toy. Suddenly he missed his best friends more than anything in the world.  
  
---  
  
Stupid Miranda, with her stupid guilt trip crap. Where's Lizzie? I need to talk to Lizzie. What did Miranda mean she's waiting around? I haven't talked to Lizzie, I mean -really- talked to her, in weeks. I've barely seen her, except when we meet at the Digital Beat and around school, and even then we don't really talk. Lizzie gave up; she gave up a long time ago. What is Miranda talking about? And Where the HELL is Lizzie, damn it??   
  
  
---  
  
A/N: There's a little cliffy for ya, I had to throw one in, you can't -truly- enjoy a story unless there's a something there to keep you hanging on :) What do ya'll think so far? Should I even -bother- to continue? Eh? R/R, please :) 


	5. Wait It Out Ch 5

A/N: Ok kiddies! This is the last chapter of THIS story. Don't worry, I've got another one on the way within a day or two :) So let me know what ya'll think, ok? Should I write another story? What do ya'll think of a sequal? Give me your thoughts, mkay? Thanks muchos! Ok, so this chapter might be a little confusing to everyone, but in the end it will all come together :)  
  
Disclaimer: Disney owns all things Lizzie related. John Mayer owns the pretty, pretty song. The plot is all mine.  
  
Need-to-know's: The '-'s will serve as indicators for thoughts, stressed words, scene changes, etc. Until I learn how to use italics.  
  
---  
  
  
"Oomph!" Gordo, who was on his way to the home of the only person who could answer the questions flying around in his head and his heart, felt his head connect with solid flesh and felt the piercing pain course through his skull.  
  
"Ow, Jeez!" Lizzie, who was walking home from school, deep in thought, almost fell flat on her back as her head slammed into something very hard, and painful, and...Oh God, where those stars flying around her head?  
  
"Damn it, sorry I wasn't watching where I was going." Gordo? What? Wow. Yeah, that's Gordo. Rubbing his chin and grimacing. Oh, Lizzie ran into Gordo. Perfect, she wondered how quickly she could come up with an excuse to leave.  
  
"Neither was I, sorry Gordo." Lizzie. What luck, just the person he was looking for. Wow, she looked tired, and sad, and...Oh God, hasn't she been eating?  
  
"Oh, hey Liz. I was actually just looking for you." What? Gordo was looking for Lizzie? Lizzie's mind reeled. What did he want with her?  
  
"Oh yeah? What's up?" Miranda messed with Gordo's head. Lizzie needed to fix it.   
  
"Um, Miranda said some weird stuff, and I thought I should ask you about it." Stupid Miranda, stupid Miranda, -stupid Miranda!- Lizzie really didn't like Miranda right now. She should have known Miranda would try to play 'Ms. Fix It' after the talk they had about Gordo this morning. Why wasn't she prepared for this?  
  
"Uh, ok. I was just heading home, Matt should be over at Lanny's, and my folks aren't home. You wanna talk there?" No, no, no. Gordo does NOT want to be at Lizzie's house. Alone. With her looking so vulnerable and fragile and hurt, and. No, it was NOT a good idea. Gordo and Lizzie. Alone. Together. This was going to be a lot harder than Gordo thought.  
  
"Sure, let's go." Just be cool. Just be cool. Breathe, don't forget to breathe. In and out. Don't be nervous.   
  
"Here we are, come on in. We can go on up to my room. Um, It's messy. I've uh...gotten a little, ya know, unorganized. Been busy. And stuff. Here I'll move some stuff, go ahead and sit down." Gordo sat down. Didn't Lizzie used to be pretty neat? Shee did. Wow, what happened? What a mess. Lizzie sat down next to Gordo. Gordo looked nervous and tired. Lizzie looked sad and broken. What a mess.  
  
"So, I wanted to talk to you." Oh, right. Talking.   
  
"Right, so, you said something about Miranda?" Miranda and her freaking meddling. She probably had all this planned.   
  
"Yeah, she was...I mean she said something about...I dunno, something about me not being your friend anymore or having messed up friendships or whatever. And...she said you. Well something about you noticing or something? I just kinda wanted to...ya know, talk to you. About...you know, that." Gordo was stuttering. He was stuttering, and mumbling, and not making much sense. This is new. Gordo, who's always been so well spoken and put together, was slipping up. He wasn't much together right now. But what did that mean?  
  
"Oh, really? Miranda thinks you're not...? But...you are. Right? I mean, you're still...you're still one of us right? You're still...you're still my, um, -our- friend, right?" What the...? Why does everyone keep thinking Gordo isn't their friend anymore?  
  
"Yes! I mean, god, yeah I'm still your friend. Best friend. Aren't I? I've just...I've just been busy. I mean, filming, and The Film Club, and now there's this producer guy that wants to check out one of my films, and that's...like, wow! I can't pass that up, and...I mean I'm just busy, that doesn't mean we aren't friends. Right?" Did someone kick Gordo out of all his old friendships and not tell him?  
  
"Yeah, of course! I mean, it was just...you weren't really around much. You've been so busy with all your other stuff, we didn't know. I mean they thought you. Everyone just got a little worried. About you. And...I guess. Well, you know, how you're kinda distant and. They just kinda...missed you." They. They missed Gordo? What...what about 'we'? What about...what about Lizzie?  
  
"You...you didn't. I mean, I'm still here and everything but. You didn't miss me...or anything? You're still...you-" Ok take a deep breath. Get it together. Don't fall apart.  
  
"I did. I missed you. But I knew...I mean I hoped you. I hoped there wasn't any reason to miss you. Cause you know, you said. I mean you asked me to...I was just waiting. You know. Like you said to. I was waiting." Ok look away. Don't look at his eyes, they're too clear. God, don't look at him. Look at the wall. The wall is nice. Nice and not clear and not beautiful and not enchanting. The wall is safe.  
  
"You. You were waiting? Really? I thought. I mean I didn't know you were. I thought you didn't, you know, understand. Or didn't..." Care. Gordo thought Lizzie didn't care anymore. Didn't care at all. The thought hurt him, it -killed- him, and it killed her to know he actually thought she would stop caring about -him-. There was a lot of pain in the small room they had inhabited.   
  
"No! No I did. I've just. I'm still waiting, I mean I always will. I've just been less...I thought you were getting tired of me always being around and stuff. I dunno. I just thought you needed time to be, you know, alone or something. So I've just been waiting...away...from...you. But I care, I still care, and I'm still waiting." Always waiting. Lizzie would always wait. But...maybe Gordo didn't need her to anymore. Maybe...maybe he was ok. Maybe...maybe Lizzie was wrong all alone and maybe she wasn't supposed to wait. Lizzie was having trouble breathing; her heart seemed have drowned somewhere deep inside. Her eyes stung, and she swallowed thickly, she didn't want to make Gordo feel bad for her by crying like a little baby.  
  
"You...you understood? You didn't...you cared? You waited? You're still waiting?" Waiting for Gordo. Because she cares. Because she...Gordo felt his skip a beat, or two, or -three-. His hands were sweating and he was having trouble looking at Lizzie, he knew that if he did he would cry. Or do something equally unattractive that would cause Lizzie to throw him out of her room, out of her life, for being such an emotional freak and thinking that -he- deserved to cry after what he did to -her-.  
  
"I'll always wait Gordo. Because...because I need you. Because I...because I lov - " Gordo stopped Lizzie. He put his hand on her small, soft hand and held it.  
  
"Hey Lizzie, what would you do if...if I told you something you probably didn't know? Like...like suppose I said I got lost, and I forgot who I was for awhile and...and didn't know where I was going. Suppose I said I kinda...kinda got swallowed up by this world of unimportant things and was drowning in it and I couldn't hang on to anything. And...and suppose I said I was like...I was calling for help and I didn't think anyone could hear me but. But you did, and...and you saved me. Suppose...suppose I said you...you're my saving grace?" Gordo was whispering now. Because it feels like a secret. It is a secret. Because no one knows. Gordo didn't even know. Until now. Until Lizzie saved him and really did become his saving grace. And he needed Lizzie to know, Lizzie deserved to know.  
  
"I...I'd-" Wait, Gordo squeezed Lizzie's hand lightly, letting her know he wasn't done yet.  
  
"Because I know you don't know that. I mean, -I- didn't even know before, but I know now and I know you don't know and. You're so...I didn't even -know-, you know? That you were waiting. That you still cared. Because I needed you to care, and I didn't know...I thought...I thought you didn't anymore. And I couldn't. I didn't want to be me if I couldn't have you as a part of me. And if you didn't care, then you wouldn't be a part of me and I wouldn't be able to -be- me. Because really I'm not me, without you, I'm -not-. I'm...I'm someone else. And...and you still care. And you waited and its...it -is- like you saved me. And you -are- my saving grace. And you...you have to know that because...because you don't, and you -need- to." Shut up, shut up, shut -up-. Gordo felt like he was talking and talking and nothing is coming out right and nothing is making sense. He wanted to cry, he wanted to get on his knees and beg to be understood, he wanted to hold her and make her understand, but he couldn't. He didn't know how to make sense of all the feelings and emotions inside his heart. But Lizzie understood everything. And Lizzie understood that she doesn't need to wait anymore. Gordo is Gordo again. And Lizzie is Lizzie again. And...  
  
"I love you." Lizzie had to make sure Gordo knew.  
  
"I love you too." Gordo had to make sure Lizzie knew. And now they both knew. And they were back. And they were together. And it's ok now.   
  
"Well it's about DAMN time!" The door to the bedroom flung open and in came Miranda and Matt, grinning like a couple of freaking bafoons. Stupid Miranda. She DID plan this. They smiled widly at each other, and then at their two friends who finally found their way back to each other, and applauding as if it were a happily ending movie. Not that Lizzie and Gordo noticed. Because Lizzie's lips are soft, and it's like paradise. And Gordo's hands are gentle, and it's like heaven. And there are promises of forever. And they'll both always wait for each other.   
  
-End-  
  
A/N: And there it is!! My very FIRST LM fanfic, how was it? Ok, I know this chapter was probably pretty confusing. But it's supposed to be like a jumble, a mess, you know? They're both nervous, and scared, and confused. They're trying to organize they're thoughts and everything is coming out wrong. I wanted it to be real, with the stuttering, and the unfinished thoughts. The reason I don't have any '-'s around the thoughts is because sometimes it's both of them thinking the same thing, and it wouldn't be as real. If it's too confusing to everyone, then I'll just take it down and make some revisions. This was kinda an experiment. So...there's that. So, let me know if you thought it was pure crap or whatever, mkay? LOL, and I'll have another story out shortly :) 


End file.
